


up, up, and over in that direction, somewhere

by shinealightonme



Series: Great Powers, Moderate Responsibility [1]
Category: Psych
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: au_bingo, Crack, Ensemble Cast, Gen, Humor, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-16
Updated: 2010-12-16
Packaged: 2017-10-13 16:59:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinealightonme/pseuds/shinealightonme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn's not the only psychic in town.  He's just the only fake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	up, up, and over in that direction, somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "superpowers" square of my [](http://community.livejournal.com/au_bingo/profile)[**au_bingo**](http://community.livejournal.com/au_bingo/) card. Originally posted [on LJ](http://shinealightonme.livejournal.com/121256.html).

The third time Shawn Spencer asked her out, Juliet lost her patience.

"No!"

"Come on, Jules, why?"

"Were you _ever_ planning on telling me you weren't really psychic?" Juliet demanded.

Shawn looked shocked. More than looked; Juliet was standing close enough to him that she could feel the change in his aura. His expression was, this time, genuine.

"Did you really think I still bought this?" Juliet did Shawn's patented hand-to-temple 'psychic vision' gimmick. "You barely even bother pretending to be psychic, yet apparently you thought I would still fall for it. I don't know if I'm more insulted as your friend, because you violated my trust, or as a psychic, because you demean the whole profession."

"First of all, this?" Shawn raised his hand as well, just as she'd seen him do a million times. "That is _gold_ , okay, that is brilliant, and a lot of so called psychics would kill for something that good. Second of all, there is no such thing as psychics, and I thought you knew that and were playing along for the sake of my career and also my not getting thrown in jail. And third of all, what do you mean, you're a psychic?"

"For a detective, Shawn, you're not really that observant." Juliet stormed out.

-

"Guess what just happened, Gus?" Shawn asked, strolling into Psych offices like it wasn't 12:45 when he was supposed to be in at 9:00.

"Juliet shot you down again?" Gus guessed, not looking up from his computer screen. He was going for aloof detachment, to teach Shawn a lesson about being late to things.

Shawn didn't seem to notice.

"No." Shawn snorted, a clear sign that he was lying and was embarrassed about it. "She told me get this that she's a _psychic_."

"Really." Gus kept his eyes on his game of Tetris. "I figured she wouldn't tell you that until you 'fessed up to her about not being a psychic."

"What's gotten into all you guys?" Shawn demanded. "Did I miss a memo? Are we skipping three months in the year and having April Fool's today? If you guys are going to have a big conspiracy to pull a prank on me, it could at least be a convincing prank."

"April isn't for another _seven_ months, and no, we're not trying to pull a prank on you. We're trying to tell you the truth. You're just immune to it." Detached aloofness or not, Gus needed more coffee. Rather than walking over to the coffee pot in the kitchenette, he teleported over there and refilled his mug, than teleported back to his chair.

He looked up to sip his coffee and found Shawn staring at him in gaped-mouth amazement. "Dude, what did you just do?"

"The teleporting?" Gus asked. "I've been doing that for years, Shawn."

"How could you keep this from me?" Shawn whined.

"Keep it from you? I told you all about it when it happened. You just wouldn't listen to me."

"No, I would have remembered that. I remember everything. Remember?"

"I remember what _day_ I told you. May 7th, 2005. I was involved in clinical trials for a drug my company was thinking of putting out on the market. There was a mishap, and now I can teleport. It told you all about it."

"May 7th...there was a CHiPs marathon that day." Shawn nodded.

"You're unbelievable, Shawn." Gus grabbed his jacket and put it back on.

"This means you don't need a car anymore!" Trust Shawn to find the most self-serving angle to any news. "Can I have the blueberry?"

"In your dreams," Gus told him, and teleported out to get a nice lunch.

-

"Hey, Lassie," Spencer said, strutting into the station like he owned it. "Have you seen Jules? We were kind of in the middle of something. With clowns to the left of us, _and_ jokers to the right."

"Go away, Spencer," Carlton said, with what he considered remarkable restraint. "I don't have time for your failing attempts at getting through life."

"Aw, don't be that way," Spencer said, and grabbed Carlton's shoulder.

Annoyed and no longer bound by secrecy, Carlton phased out, causing Spencer's hand to drop straight through where Carlton's body would be, if it were still on the same dimensional plane.

Carlton really, truly wished he'd had a camera. He'd have printed out a photo of the expression on Spencer's face and kept it with him at all times.

-

"Mr. Spencer, thank you for coming in on such short notice," Karen greeted him as he walked into her office. "Mr. Guster isn't with you today?"

"No, he's otherwise engaged." Spencer seemed unusually subdued, plopping into the chair across from Karen's without any fanfare. "If you've got a case for us, I can handle it by myself."

"Of course, Mr. Spencer." Karen wasn't sure she believed that, but she knew how to be diplomatic. "But I didn't call you in today to talk about a case."

"Then what is there?" Spencer looked worried. "Is this about that incident at the softball game last week? Because I told Lassiter, that kid was up to no good "

"That's not what you're here for either. I understand that Detective O'Hara divulged some personal information to you today?"

"Yeah, she told me she's psychic. Which was weird." He seemed to remember to whom he was talking, and scrambled to recover. "And which I would have seen coming, if her powers hadn't interfered with my own abilities."

"Mr. Spencer, the department is already aware that you do not, in fact, have psychic powers. But we can't prove you're a fraud without revealing Detective O'Hara's situation. And powers or not, you get results. That is why you are allowed to operate as you have been. Now that you're in on this secret, however, we need to be sure that you will keep it a secret. Because if we can't trust you, we'll have to make sure you don't talk." Karen paused significantly, enjoying the stricken look on Spencer's face. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good," Karen said in a much lighter tone of voice. "Then I'll just need you to sign these non-disclosure forms."

She probably should have gotten them out of the file cabinet by hand, but hell, she was only human. It was worth the lapse in professionalism to hear the surprised yipping noise Spencer made when she telekinetically carried the papers over to the desk.

-

"It's not fair," Shawn moaned. "It's just not fair. Why does everyone else get superpowers? Huh? Don't I deserve them?"

The dog at his feet barked, as if to console him.

"Thanks, buddy." Shawn reached down and petted the dog, then snapped himself out of it. "Look at me. This is pathetic. I'm sitting around the station talking to a _dog_. No offense."

In the blink of an eye, the dog transformed into Buzz McNabb. "None taken," Buzz said cheerfully.

Shawn stared at him blankly for a moment before getting up and walking away.

Buzz chased after him. "Hey, I've got this itch on my back I can't reach. Do you think you could get it before you go?"


End file.
